Birthday Wishes Faxed to a Friend in Helsinki

(Delivered to hotel guest Jane Smith
on May 24, 2003 California time)

For this I've waited thirty days
Just like I've done for 50 Mays
You know how patient I am not
And now I find I'm in a spot

Although it is time to celebrate
Can’t call 323 or fax 818
And so I’m sitting here and I'm thinking
As your sixtieth year is fast Helsinking

Tho’ you’ve fled to the land of the Midnight Sun
You will still, my darling, turn sixty-one
Actually you've gone so far away
I believe your new age started yesterday!

But let us not split hairs o'er this
I just want to send a long distance kiss
To reach some northern part of our planet
Happy birthday, precious, with love from Janet